Review: Coffin Dodgers (PS4)

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Title: Coffin Dodgers
Format: PlayStation Network Download (1.2 GB)
Release Date: May 3, 2016
Publisher: Wales Interactive
Developer: Milky Tea
Original MSRP: $11.99 (US), €11.99 (EU), £10.25 (UK)
ESRB Rating: T
PEGI: 16
Coffin Dodgers is also available on Xbox One, PC, and Mac.
The PlayStation 4 download version was used for this review.
A copy of this game was provided by the publisher for review purposes.
PS Nation Review Policy

Gameplay:
Death has come knocking for the old crusty folk of some strange little town and they aren’t planning on going out easy. In fact they make a deal with Death – a mobility scooter race for their life. After picking a character with no noticeable difference from any other, you jump straight into the first race.

If you have a modicum of skill you should complete the game in the first try. Spending your winnings on inconsequential upgrades and unlocking the strange secret ending should take no more than an hour or two.

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I could not tell you the exact time it took as I dozed off halfway through. That is not a joke. I literally fell asleep during a race. It could have been the excessive floaty feel to the vehicles or the monotonous music which lulled me into a gentle slumber. Either way I wasn’t having fun.

Before you think I’m being too harsh blaming my catnap on this plain little racer, I want you to bear in mind that I could keep the accelerator trigger pressed for the entire game, through every hairpin-turn and curve. There is no skill needed. No power sliding, drifting, or handbrake turns, nor anything else you would hope to find in even the tamest of racing games.

… the tiny convoluted set of tracks …
You can knock another character off their scooter with a charged up swipe of their walking stick, a string of sausages, a scythe, or a few other things. They will tumble and roll, often underneath the tiny wheels of the other racers with no detrimental effect to their momentum.

You can also fire rockets, send out a defibrillator shock wave, or pummel the decrepit drivers with an Uzi. Yes, you read that correctly, these old folks are packin’ heat. But only if you manage to snag one of the random pickups littered across the tiny course. Thankfully there are no blue shells in these quick races, nor are there any slipstreams, so you will have to hope and pray you grab a feeble little speed boost if you fall behind.

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It’s all too easy to get lost in the tiny convoluted set of tracks that the developers strung together to form one big mess. It’s as if they threw a forkful of spaghetti on the table and made a few interwoven courses out of the disorder.

Trophy hunters will be happy as Coffin Dodgers features a very easy, if a little boring, Platinum that could be acquired over single tiresome session.

… music is dull and uninspired …
Visuals:
Little has been done to improve on the basic tablet and mobile game this only just manages to be. Basic and bland are my main thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, this is fine for a cheap phone game. I just expect more when it comes to a PlayStation experience.

Audio:
As I mentioned earlier, the music is dull and uninspired and there is no voice work in the couple of cutscenes this tiny game has.

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Online/Multiplayer:
The game features a competent local four player split-screen mode, a rarity these days and a welcome addition. However, because the game isn’t that good and the courses are a muddled mess, my family quickly got bored with it.

Conclusion:
Coffin Dodgers is a very quick and expensive disappointment. Technically, it does little wrong, but for a PlayStation 4 game, I expect so much more. It has less life than the frail old characters in the game and a stupidly bizarre and unnecessary ending that ruins what little appeal it had in the first place.

Score:
4.5

* All screenshots used in this review were taken directly from the game using the Share functionality on the PlayStation 4.

Written by Chazz Harrington

Chazz Harrington

You can find me on everything: PSN, Twitter, Wii U, Origin, Steam, etc using my universal ID: ChazzH69

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